He is not a they (or is he?)

Confession time.

I’m a long-time feminist and strong advocate of non-sexist, gender-neutral language, but I hate the awkward his/her, he/she phrasing.

I dislike and have long resisted the use of the plural pronoun they (and its related forms their and them) to refer to a singular person, although this is becoming more commonly used and therefore will no doubt be accepted as “proper” in the near future.

I refuse to accept the excuse that “he,” “him” or “man” are generic terms that can apply to either sex.

Some examples:

Each client should be given his/her record to review. Hate it. I wish English had a truly gender neutral singular pronoun, as do some languages. But it doesn’t.

Each client should be given their record to review.  Don’t like it. A single person is NOT a “they” and therefore doesn’t have “their” records. You wouldn’t say “John Doe should be given their record to review.”

Each client should be given his record to review. Just plain wrong – unless all your clients are male.

All clients should be given their records to review. Right answer!

Unfortunately, there are instances where this just isn’t going to work, for example when you’re specifically referring to a person of unspecified gender, such as: The first client of the day should be shown his/her record to review.

You could change the sentence to read: “The first clients of the day.” Yet, that’s confusing, since you only have one first client each day. There are other, even more convoluted ways to phrase it, but that’s the problem. They’re convoluted and usually add barriers to comprehension.

My solution (and here, my high school English teacher Dr. Von Lukanovich will turn in his grave and purists gasp with horror) is to use the plural as a singular. That is: “The first client of the day should be shown their record to review.”

I take solace in knowing that the controversial use of “they” and other plural forms as singular pronouns is nothing new. It didn’t begin with electronic media and texting. As Patricia T. O’Conner and Stewart Kellerman noted in their New York Times article:

“…many great writers – Byron, Austen, Thackeray, Eliot, Dickens, Trollope and more – continued to use they and company as singulars… In fact, so many people now use they in the old singular way that dictionaries and usage guides are taking a critical look at the prohibition against it. R. W. Burchfield, editor of The New Fowler’s Modern English Usage, has written that it’s only a matter of time before this practice becomes standard English: “The process now seems irreversible.” Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary (11th ed.) already finds the singular they acceptable “even in literary and formal contexts,” but the Usage Panel of The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language (4th ed.) isn’t there yet. (via On Language – All-Purpose Pronoun – NYTimes.com.)

I still don’t like it, but I suppose if Dickens and Austen did it, we might as well give in to the inevitable and do it, too! Sorry, Dr. Von!